Long Distance Love Traps

I know,I know Long distance marriages are mostly not a very easy thing. But If you have a marriage and family you value, honey you are losing more than anything you are gaining. Trust me. 
That time and distance spent from your spouse and children you can never recover. Ask Mandela.
The vacuum you leave will be filled with something or someone. This something or someone grows into your spouses head ,body and heart.
When you are back for a week or two or a weekend everyone is tiptoeing in the name of love around each other. Doing dinners and shopping, small talk nothing deep that might result into an argument . Not a problem but my view is;
Relationships grow when it stops being about I can't discuss that and moves to let's fight this out because I need you to hear me and or you hurt me. Honest open non kuvumilia just because after all you are supposed to have intensely missed each other.
It's about the little things like showering forever and he is getting late for work or putting toilet seat up or down. Or him eating your food till it gets boring and you have to up your creativity or buy take out.
It's about "I have a headache" , you know when he is around for only 2 weeks or a weekend you Have to put out (there is just so much menses a woman can hide behind)
Marriage even in this digital era cannot be numerous evening phone calls (someone is feeling inconvenienced and a tad irritated by the mandatory conversations) Or whatsapps.
Thing is when you teach people how to live without you, they learn, eventually they learn. And they adapt. They cannot keep unlearning every time you are around for a quickie marriage.
But the lack of an honest connection is what destroys. There is none. No connection intellectual , emotional, physical , financial. No harmony. No rhythm. What I call the dance.

I submit to married couples staying apart in the name of work ; that shit nurtures the little independent demons in your spouses. They come into themselves without you. And soon you are a bills machine and an inconvenience to her plans and space.
For me hata Nakuru haiwes make it. Nairobi county is already too much distance with foxholes.

Your Honest Sincere friend
Mama Mona Na Nelly
Bibi ya Ham.